My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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