My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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