if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
