He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
