There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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