I smell stomach acid.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
