Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
