This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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