508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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