ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
