big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
