Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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