Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
tell me about the eggs
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
