is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
