i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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