You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize