and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize