Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its liver damage thursday
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
