i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
