My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
