and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
