More tranny stories later!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hippo gnu deer
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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