yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
