You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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