There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
