Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
