I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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