i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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