I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
