yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
