True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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