singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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