I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The best revenge is premature balding
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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