are you still at the devil's house?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Drake has all the answers
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
