this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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