The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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