Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
