too bad you live with your parents still
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
