i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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