The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
