i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
