Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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