wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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