these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
