So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
