Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
