i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
