3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
