oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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