you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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