seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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