we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
