we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
