someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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