holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
