im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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