Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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