I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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