her vagine was all disorganized.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
