I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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