I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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