For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
